I have admitted previously to being a stubborn kind of gal. Some my greatest lessons have really been learned the hard way. One of those is that we are in control of the outcome of most of the interactions that we have with others. Most often exchanges go bad because of interpretations or assumptions. The key issue- words. Words have power. The power to heal or the power to hurt. I am as guilty as anyone of sometimes using words to harm others. In my evolution of self, I am more mindful of using my words to harm. I am also conscious about what I am speaking into existence and what negative energy I am sending in someone else’s direction. The reason? My negative words have the power to interrupt and counteract your positive energy if your energy is not strong enough. Thus, since my desire is never to bring you any harm, I must be careful of the words I use to and about you.
How often do you interrupt the flow of your life to speak blessings into someone else’s. It’s not hard to do. It doesn’t take long and you know what? Where there was a singular flow of positive energy, it is now doubled. How does this work? Let me give you a small but powerful example. A friend is awaiting news on a job interview and you are aware of it. Your comments instead of “good luck” may be “hey call right after you get the offer.” Do you see the difference? “Good luck” is hopeful which is…nice, but “call me after you get the offer” is empowering. You are joining with them in claiming the job and my submission is your energy is helping that offer to come their way.
One must be very mindful of the words they use to describe others and the words they allow others to use to describe them. There is an old saying “it’s not what they call you; it’s what you answer to.” In theory I agree with this, but not in totality. You see even if I don’t answer to a derogatory term, if you call me it often enough others may begin to think it fits. Or, more importantly, I may begin to internalize (no matter how subconsciously) that this is who or what I am. Thus, for me, it is quite important to be inflexible in the terms by which I let myself be identified. And after all, I think Tirani (pronounced like tyranny) is quite a pretty name and that’s really all you need to call me anyway. 🙂
So far I’ve talked about words we project outward, but some of the most important words are the ones which we use to talk to ourselves. Be very mindful of what you tell yourself you can’t achieve, can’t amount to, can’t look like, etc. There is a famous quote by Henry Ford “whether you think you can, or think you can’t you’re right” that comes to mind. It’s the Law of Attraction at work again. We don’t allow good things to come to us if our expectation is for nothing but bad. The navigation can’t take place. We all have shortcomings. We all are FAR less than perfect. That being said, we ALL are uniquely gifted and blessed. Talk to yourself about your blessings- what you excel at, what you do that brings joy to others. Don’t be so quick to point out your shortcomings to others. They will discover them soon enough. In the meantime, however, they can be so impressed by your virtues and assets that the shortcomings, when discovered, have diminished value.
One last thing and I’m done. Please let’s work on not allowing ourselves to say whatever to whomever in the name of “keeping it real” or “I’m just being me.” Your “me” is a wonderful person- of that I’m certain, but you don’t appear as wonderful when you speak to people badly or negatively sometimes simply for your own entertainment. Yes, you have successfully (define success) demeaned that person or made them feel bad, but what you have done for your own image is far worse. Believe me, 20 + years ago I held a Ph. D. in “being me” but I honestly did not like the opinion that some people had of me. I had to take the time (and it took a long time lol) to analyze what was causing the rift. It was words- sometimes the words, lots of times the tone.
Think about your words. They are powerful as weapons of mass destruction or empowerment building. Work at building people, including yourself, up instead of tearing them down. It is so much more rewarding.
Spread love… peace and blessings.