One of my least favorite phrases is “with all that I’m/you’re going through.” Oh this one really makes me want to SCREAM! Why say you? A lot of people are going through a lot, you say? It’s really simple. I don’t believe that theory. I believe that most people are simply living life and contrary to what some of us have been conditioned to think life is not meant to be easy or a piece of cake. Life is meant to be challenging in order for us to learn the lessons necessary to assist us in fulfilling our purpose. So for me, at most times, people are not going through anything ; they are simply living. This does not mean that I am not sensitive to their challenges. I simply don’t view them through the same lens.
Are there people, in my opinion, who are “going through” something? ABSOLUTELY! For those in the midwest who lost their homes, all of their belongings, and in some cases family members due to the devastating tornado that hit- they are going through something. For those who have life threatening illnesses and have to live with a death sentence daily, they are going through something. For my twitter friend, AIDS activist Rae Lewis-Thornton, who daily lives with pain, getting IV treatments to fight a separate infection, and the stress of trying to pay her expenses while being unable to work a traditional job – yeah she is going through something. Interestingly enough, however, most of these people don’t look at their life that way. My cousin-in-law who endured multiple bouts of breast cancer opted not to allow her doctor to tell her how much time she had left. Why? Because she wanted to live her LIFE and not her DEATH. Rae, who sometimes is so ill she can not get out of bed, continues to tweet positive messages to others while making custom bracelets (even from bed) to support herself and her cause. Telling yourself that you are “going through” some hard times is sometimes merely accepting a victim mentality.
I think it most interesting that those who legitimately are “going through” something are the very last people you will hear use this phrase. As I watched with tears the victims of the tornado in interviews, I heard them say how grateful they are to be alive. They expressed how happy they were to find treasured items within the ruins, how they had a purpose to rebuild their homes. As I tweet with Rae, I admire her go get ’em spirit that forces her to continue on in spite of with very little complaint relying upon her extended network to sometimes bolster and get her through the day. My cousin in law chose to have a baby who was only 2 and a half years old at the time of her death. She did this as her parting gift to her mom and husband against doctors orders.
I am currently in the midst of one of life’s challenges. But interestingly I’m not too worried. I’ve been at a crossroad before- been in a place where I wasn’t sure which road to take or where it led. I felt like I had no one, but the universe stepped in to show me I had all I needed. In this case it was one great friend who at the time wore many hats. I also had a few sideline cheerleaders and family who stepped in from the shadows at just the right time to guide me back home. That experience prepared me for this one. I know that I am doing wonderfully. I am in the best physical shape of my life, I am in wonderful mental health, and I have an ever-increasing support base of people who truly love me. So I ask, when armed with all of this how could I possibly be “going through” anything? I awaken each day looking forward to a day that will be better than the one before which will lead to a lifetime of great days. You see I’m going to let you in on a little secret, the more you see things to complain about, the more you see “wrong” with your life, the more the universe will give you. After all, that’s what you want right? Hmmm?? That’s all you talk about, so that’s what you are speaking into existence. Every day will not be perfect, but see the perfect in every day.
So, even if you are aware of my current challenges I welcome you asking how I am weathering them, but please don’t preface your comments with “…with all that you are going through.” The only thing I’m going through my friend are happy, love-filled days enjoying the blessings and joy that come from a growing inner peace.
Spread love…. peace and blessings