Archive | July 2011


Every now and then I take some time to reflect upon lessons I’ve learned or observations I’ve made.  I did this recently in connection with my birthday and last week when I just took some time to think myself out of an angry moment.  This is not my normal type of blog.  I am simply taking a moment to allow you inside my thoughts.

1.  People really are willing to do things for you if you approach them with a pleasant demeanor and have an expectation of positive results.  I had two customer service issues today where the results exceeded my expectations.  In both cases, the solution was offered by the other party.  I never had to ask for anything.

2.  Some people are unhappy.  It has nothing to do with you, but they may try to convince you that it is your “fault.”  You are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness.  Happiness comes from within.  Hurt people hurt people and misery loves company.  You have complete control over whether you allow yourself to be the guest of honor at someone else’s pity party.

3.  Good friends are hard to come by.  Most people have many acquaintances but few friends.  Treasure your friends and let them know you value their presence in your life.  Many people treat the people closest to them the worse.  That is a sure way to lose great people in your life.

4.  At heart, most people are good.  Often times if someone recognizes a need in your life they will offer to help.  Believe it or not, most of the time there is NO ulterior motive.  They would like to help you.  Don’t walk around with a chip on your shoulder.  It is the surest way to tick people off.  Unless given reason to believe otherwise, trust people and assume that they want the best for you.  More often than not you are correct.

5.  Pay it forward.  You may never be in a position to fully repay those who have helped you along the way (although loans should be repayed).  You repay those who have helped you by your willingness to help others with no expectation of return.

6.  You will not get different results if you keep doing the same things. To expect otherwise has been offered as the definition of insanity.  To exact a change in your life you MUST be willing to make changes. Be they large or small, change has to occur to change the circumstances of your life.

7.  Fear can be debilitating.  Even if you don’t verbally express it, your inability or unwillingness to do something is generally attributed to fear.  The biggest aspect of fear is the fear itself.  Once you actually take the plunge you will discover that the thing you feared either doesn’t exist or is not nearly as bad as you think.  (This is a very personal item for me.  Intellectually I know this, but still…)

8.  The Law of Attraction is very, VERY real.  The universe truly does give us what we ask/expect of it.  Expect  bad things to happen and it’s like a written signed contract for trouble.  Expect the best, visualize it, see it happening and it is almost certain to come.  I have been keeping a “Pray Rain Journal” for almost 3 months in which I write about the things I want to see happen as though they have already occurred.  The results are nothing short of amazing.

9.  Children are PEOPLE not objects.  They live to please their parents and will live up to or down to your expectations.  Speak to your children as people.  You will find they are much more willing to talk to you if this is the case.  Who doesn’t want that?

10.  We make a lot of our own messes in life.  The good news is that life is fluid, so there is always the opportunity to “clean up your own mess.”  Less mess definitely means less stress.

These are just a few of my thoughts.  My brain tends to always run on overdrive.  A young lady asked me for “adult” advice last night and that made me smile.   As always I would love to read your gems as well.  Please share.

Spread love…peace and blessings.


You Hold The Keys To Your Own Happiness


On any given day any of us can give examples of current events in our lives that are disheartening, distasteful, and unsatisfactory to say the least.  On those same given days there are a plethora of events/circumstances for which to be thankful, humbled and grateful.  The difference in which attitude one takes for the day rests with each of us individually.  You can see the challenges or you can see the blessings.  I make every attempt to see the blessings.  I generally refer to the following list to reorder my steps when I mentally get off track.  They help me.  Hopefully they may help some of you as well.

1.  You are in your right mind

a) This sounds like a simple concept until you stop to consider the large number of people who  suffer from some type of mental disorder.  Many people have chemical imbalances that render them incapable of navigating life’s paths without medication for stabilization.  This is ok, too.  I am thankful medicine has advanced to the point where most , some with help some without, can go through life in their “right mind.”

b) Being in your right mind carries some responsiblity .  You are responsible for and have control over your thoughts.  “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.”  What you focus on you give energy to.  Think you are having a bad day and you most certainly will.  Start each day telling yourself and others that you are feeling and doing great and it shall be so.

c) Train yourself to look for the blessings as they are certainly there. Counting your blessings and focusing on helping others will always alter the mental state.  Remember “the Lord is blessing me right now.”

2. You have a roof over your head

a) The rate of homelessness is increasing as the economy continues to lag and citizens continue to lose jobs.  We live in one of the wealthiest countries in the world.  You are blessed to live in the conditions that you do.

b) Home is where the heart is.  If you have love and a place to stay, you have a home.  Even if it is a temporary home.

c) Your children do not care as much about the trappings as you think.  As long as you are there to love them, they are happy and at home.

3.  You have a job to go that provides for you. 

a) Having a job in these times is a blessing.  Be thankful for it as you consider to search for something more suitable.

b) Even if you are part of the unemployment numbers, this is the land of opportunity.  There is always something even if it is not the perfect job.

c) Unemployed?  Now is the best time to explore what your true calling REALLY is.

4.  At your best you are loved 

a) You have friends and family who truly love you and want the best for you.  This should always give you solace.

b) Relationship ended?  Having a hard time finding “the one?”  Believe with all your heart that the opportunity to find love always exists.  Wait with expectation.  It is coming. In the meantime, work on being the best you. Concentrate on self and you will attract what you become.

5.  You have your health

a) Your health is never to be taken for granted.  As long as you are in good health you are blessed beyond measure.

b) If you are not in your best health, is never too late to make a change – right now, today!  “I wish I could exercise every day.”  Don’t wish- do!

c) Don’t trust the value of good health?  Have a conversation with the elderly or the infirm and listen to what they have to tell you about valuing /maintaining good health.

This is just my list of staples.  There are hundreds more I’m sure.  Please share with me some of the things you use in self- talk to regain your footing on a more positive path.   Remember happiness rests within.  You are the key to your emotional well being.  So you think so you are.  Be well and be happy.


Spread love… peace and blessings.

Don’t Worry About the Cover, Worry About the Pages


There is an old adage: never judge a book by its cover.  We all have a surface idea of what this means. Don’t be fooled by pretty covers and fancy text.  The test of the quality of a book is in its pages.  We’ve heard this for years.  Yet, I notice that some of us spend a lot of time fancying up our covers.  We are very concerned about how we are perceived by others and what their impression of us is.

I see this phenomenon takes place often  in the presentation of our home.  Some of us go to extreme efforts to take care of our exterior.  The landscaping is perfect.  We personally maintain or pay someone to perform that task on a weekly basis.  We paint as needed (if required),  resurface our driveways.  We do whatever is required for our home to have curb appeal and there is nothing wrong with that in principle.  An issue comes, however, if someone comes to visit only to find plumbing issues, dishes in the sink, unappealing odors, and less than pristine conditions inside.

Young ladies in our society are taught through the media, peer pressure, and sometimes within their own families that they have to look like Beyonce, or Fergie with the body to match.  If this includes enhancing body parts, adding someone else’s  hair, or wearing garments that give you the appearance of having more than you are blessed with then so be it.

Little time is spent emphasizing the quality of the living space or the person.  We don’t invite others into our homes with “welcome, we invite you into our space of tranquility and love.”  We invite you in and offer to “show you around”  which is code for “come in and look at the beauty of my stuff.”  What about the beauty of the family unit that lives in the home, the love that is exhibited in even the worst of times, the encouragement that is shown which is resulting in straight A students?  That seems to be less important.  Just look at the stuff- the cover.

We begin with the smallest of girls saying  “She’s so pretty.  Oh look at her hair, her eyes, etc.”  What if she is not pretty?  Everyone is not made to be.  What if instead she is brilliantly gifted academically or musically?  What if she is none of the above but works extremely hard and is thus rewarded by excelling in whatever path she chooses to take in life.  Are her accomplishments diminished by the fact that she is less than beautiful?

I know we are all attracted to beauty.  Our eye seeks it out.  I am not saying that there is anything wrong with seeking beauty, showing yourself in your best light or being attracted to the attractive.  I am saying that is the shell.  The beautiful home, the nice car, the well-paying job, the beautiful face and the well toned body are nothing if you don’t work on the meat of the matter-  the inside; the pages.  The cover of the book is attractive for one reason: to entice you to read the book.  Are your pages worth reading?  I hope so.  I know I am certainly giving all to enhancing the quality of my story.  You can tear the cover off for all I care and sell it at a discount.  I still strive to be worth reading.  🙂

Spread love… peace and blessings.


Birthday Musings 2011

Well it’s my birthday and in keeping with what I started last year I will offer some musings.  Might be some cheer, sarcasm, humor,  whatever in this as I don’t yet know what is going to pour forth through these fingers.  I do know that I’m going with the list format- well cause I’m still perfecting that style of writing.  So here goes:

1.  Age is nothing but a number and in my mind I’m still 25.  I know better  but I still think I make 46 look damned good.

2.  My birthday is the one day I allow myself to be totally narcissstic.  Play along and don’t judge me.  😉

3.  For some reason my stepfathers birthday two days ago and this being the anniversary of his death really affected me this year.

4.  I know sometimes I really moan and complain about my mom.  Truth is that lady loves me til the end of her days and will always do ANYTHING for me.  The fact that she has some challenges in communication sometimes should not make her less loveable.  It should just make me more understanding and that is something I’m committing to going forth.

5.  My day did not hold a lot of extra activities.  Just hanging with my kids running errands and things.  That was fine with me.  They are two of my favorite people.  My daughter is one of the most loving people I know and my son is one of the funniest.

6. I am not one who goes out, gets drunk or anything like that for my birthday.  My preference is actually to spend some time in quiet reflection deciding on adjustments I need to make going forth.

7.  I do the same on New Years day.

8.  My birthday is truly a holiday to me.

9.  If you are in my inner circle and don’t acknowledge my birthday I will admit I get a little salty.

10. To date I have received 105 birthday greetings through Facebook and quite a number through twitter.

11.  I honestly don’t consider myself to have a large number of friends so this touches my heart in unexplainable ways.

12.  If a person can take the time to send me a birthday greeting, I can take the time to personally thank each and every one of them.

13.  I have been incredibly blessed in my lifetime.

14.  I continue to be blessed and am currently calling the life I wish to live into existence.

15.  The Pray Rain Journal is a very real concept.

16.  This year I will finish and publish at least one book.

17.  I am currently writing two very different books.

18.  This next year will be one of change, challenge, and growth.

19.  Raising a teenaged boy into manhood challenges some of my sensibilities.  I want him to be a perfect man yet know that he won’t.

20.  Some of my friends did not make it to this point.  I always remember them as I continue to live with the part of them that lives in my heart.

So,  I lift my glass in toast to me- the woman I am and the woman I am still becoming.  The day I cease being a work in progress will be the day I die.  There is always room for improvement but there is also always cause for celebration.  I thank you, in advance, for being in my life in whatever way has caused you to take the time to read these musings and I wish you peace, happiness, and prosperity in whatever order you currently need them.

God Bless you and Mazel Tov,    *clink*

Spread  love…peace and blessings.