I have been working on a project recently that has taken me quite a while to complete. As a matter of fact I am still putting the finishing touches on it. This is not a project that I chose to do; it is one that I am required to do. No if, ands or buts will get me out of it. As such, it is not something I really wanted to do. The thought of it caused me stress. Every time I began the work I struggled. In my mind it was going to take SO long to complete. I felt like the volume of it was massive and overwhelming.
Well, a funny thing happened on the way to the store, so to speak. As I was editing the project last night I noticed something quite odd. I noted that the finished project was not nearly as long as I envisioned. I continue to review to ensure that I have not failed in doing due diligence. Something makes me feel that I neglected to include some vital information. What gives me that feeling? Well, that can’t be all that there was to it? Could there?
By now you have probably come to the same conclusion that I did. I realized that the project was never as big as I thought it was. It was just that big IN MY MIND. I felt that it was uninvited, unwarranted, and plain unnecessary, just a project full of uns. Now my assessment of all of those uns may indeed be correct, but it is something that I am required to do so my thoughts on the matter really are insignificant. What I did to myself was unfair and unnecessary. I have belabored a project that I should have finished weeks ago because I perceived it as larger than life.
Thankfully a friend confronted me on the matter on Saturday night. They challenged me to get it done, to stop procrastinating and face the music. A simple “whassup Tee?!” got my attention. See the whassup asked a lot of questions “Why are you holding yourself back? Is there some fear attached to the completion of this project? Is there anything you would like to share about why are not getting it done?” and a host of other things. But most importantly “If you say you want to be done with it, then ‘get ‘er done.'” I got my butt in gear and am largely finished. I do need to, upon completion of this blog, do a final read through and edit to ensure that I have dotted all of my I’s and crossed all of my T’s but it is ready to roll.
The most important part of this process for me has been the lesson. I know that I have a very powerful mind. I have consciously used it to control things about my body for years. Now, I must be MORE mindful of how my mind controls my actions. Intellect must take over and win the fight over insecurity, doubt, procrastination and fear. An unwillingness for something to happen will not ensure that it doesn’t happen. Preparation, determination and a plan have a far greater chance at success. Just as the Nike ad says “just do it” I must remind myself that in cases where there is no choice I must use my mind to press forward, to conquer and continuing rolling. This project has unnecessarily paralyzed me for months. Not because I worked on it non-stop because I didn’t. I procrastinated, used every excuse in the book and dragged my feet. I was paralyzed by the incompletion. Now that I am one step away from done I can move on the next step. And guess what? That’s what I should have been doing all along.
(This is one of those “for Tee only” posts. If you made it this far, thanks for listening to my rambles. I appreciate you for being along for the journey.)
Spread love… peace and blessings.