Archive | March 2012

More Lessons Learned

On October 24, 2011 I posted “Lessons Learned.”  They all apply, but because this is life there are always more lessons.  I would love to hear some of yours.

1.  When sleep is needed rest.

2. Someone is always watching what you do- do yourself proud

3.  Tomorrow is not promised- live each day to the fullest

4. Friendship does not mean they are always around, it means they are there when you need them.

5. Even great people are imperfect- Don’t be too hard on yourself.

6. People can feel love even when not in your physical presence- the internet taught me this

7.  Real love never dies- it’s surprising how long I’ve been aware of this one

8. Laughter is healing (and does a great job of ending arguments too).

9.  We are incapable of seeing ourselves as others see us- this is both a good and a bad thing.  😉

10. There is something good in everyone.  Look for it.  Acknowledge it.  Celebrate it.

11. Sometimes bad things happen for a good reason- all things are not for us to immediately understand

12. Spreading love can indeed become a lifestyle.

13. You can let the negative statements/thoughts of others break you or you can use it as inspiration – I see you Tiger Woods

14. While one should not judge too quickly (or at all for that matter), people really do show you who they are early and often.  But…

15. Getting to know a person better almost always leads to an understanding of why they are the way they are.

16. Saying “I’m sorry” is one of the hardest things for a lot of people to say.

17. Saying “Thank you” ranks high on the hard to say list also.

18. There is no way that living with a spirit of gratitude will not change your attitude.

19. Sometimes the smallest thing to you is the biggest thing to someone else- amazing but true.

20. Letting others in is a better alternative than living behind a wall- hiding behind a wall keeps others out but always keeps you enclosed.  Let the wall down and free yourself.

21. It is not always easy to give a lot of effort, but it is worth it- the thing that most feels like it’s not worth the trouble probably is.

22.  There is little room for a difference of opinion in the current climate of our country- sad to say!

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Sometimes You Just Have To Be There

There are certain points in time, certain incidents in life, when you just have step up and do what you have to do.  Not for the fame, not for the glory, not because of what anyone will say about it either positively or negatively.  You just have to do what you have to do.

I have encountered several of these points in the recent decade.  I take this as an indication that I am definitely growing older. I stepped up to help care for my grandmother for the 4 yrs prior to her death in 2010.  Today my mom underwent knee replacement surgery.  We were at the hospital at 8:45 for a surgery that was scheduled for 10:30.  It took place at 2:00.  To say it was a long day was an understatement. But the fact of the matter is that I am my mom’s only child.  Because she is a widow, I am also her next of kin.  I needed to be there and I will need to be there on a very regular basis for the next 8 weeks as she recuperates.  Sometimes you just have to be there.

What I most appreciate, in the times where you are being where you need to be, is there are those who are there for you.  My cousin, knowing I had been at the hospital all day flying solo, dropped by to see her aunt and to bring me dinner. I had friends who checked in to see how I was doing and spend some phone time with me,  and my real and cyber friends, on both Facebook and Twitter, sent words of encouragement all day as well as offered up much appreciated prayers.  I had to be where I had to be but you all chose to be there for me.  For this I am beyond grateful.  In trying times, you see who really has your back.  They show you in a multitude of ways. Thank you for being there!

Spread love… peace and blessings.

 

Seeing The Best

This year I made a radical change in my Lenten mindset.  Instead of “giving up” something I decided to add something to my way of being.  This commitment is not for 40 days but for life, and I intend to add something (s) else every year.  This year, my number one Lenten add is to SEE EVERYONE FOR THEIR BEST.

In general I try to operate from a positive mindset but this decision has truly been life changing.  For many years I agreed with that most famous quote of the young Anne Frank.  “I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are truly good at heart.”  This philosophy is at the heart of seeing everyone for their best.  For in it we realize that there are several  givens:

1. Most things that others do to annoy you have NOTHING at all to do with you.  People are operating within the sphere of their own experiences.

2. Most people want to be happy and want others around them to be happy as well.

3. Some people have been badly damaged by those around them.  They are not fully aware of how their pleasant demeanor would add to the happiness of others.

4.  Most people are trying as hard as they can to “get it right.”

Now, if you go with my premise that the above are true, at least 85% of time, then how can the other person be a bad person. So, if I get into a verbal squabble with another I try to get to the root of the matter without that assessment including an evaluation of the other individual as a person.  I find myself more and more often saying “but s/he is good people though.  It’ll be alright.”  And you know what?  It is.  I notice that any small beefs seem to go away almost immediately.

We can not control others and we certainly can not control what is influencing them, but by making a commitment to see the best in others we can only help to make their day better.  What’s in that for you?  A lot.  People who feel that you make life easier for them are a joy to be around.  They appreciate you, they look forward to time in your presence and they don’t bring you their crap.  Why not?  Well because you make them feel good they don’t want to do THAT to YOU.

This is not a magic pill solution.  It is not going to end poverty, but maybe it will end war.  🙂  I just know what I know and what I know is that people are good at heart and everyone has something about them  to be championed.  When they are annoying you, don’t focus on what is annoying you, put your energies toward the thing that is to be championed and watch both your attitude and theirs turn around.

About Lent, yes I did “give up” something with the knowledge that I was gonna “try” to do it. Well , I have cheated and eaten a bit of candy but I am still seeing everyone for their best.  The add was the die-hard commitment this year. That combined with my second add of judging only self keeps me happy, calm, and content in turbulent times.

I  urge you to test my theories.  Try it.  Let me know what you think.  I wish you all the best.

Spread love…peace and blessings.

 

In Praise of Womanhood

My sisters

You make me proud

Of all that you are

And all that you can be

You make me want to become

The very best me

You carry the burden

In a lot of instances

Of raising your boys into men

While still allowing them to be children

Of teaching your girls

That life is not all dresses and curls

A lady needs to have her own

And be her best

Stand up for yourself

Face any test

While at the same time

Maintain that is which is soft

The core of your femininity

For a man needs to feel like a man

And THAT you have to understand

So while you are “holding him down”

Make sure you always build him up

My sisters you speak with dulcet tones

In ways that make others feel that they are one of your own

You open your heart and your home

To anyone in need

Your spirit is golden

One never has to plead

You shoulder the load

Of generations of your family

You are the matriarch

The rock upon which they all stand

The men of the family say

She helped me become a better man

The table abounds with foods

Deliciously sprinkled with love

The cornerstone you stand on

Is that we are all blessed from above

My sisters you rule the boardroom

Showing men the true meaning of multi-tasking

While they may lead a somewhat charmed life

You remind your coworkers

“Hey buddy I am the wife”

You are the caretaker, waymaker, executrix,

The bomb lady who finds the way out of any fix

You are my example

My go to girl

You make me proud to realize

That no dream “dreamable” is out of this world

My sisters

This is my ode to you

I want to say thank you

You are appreciated

You are admired

You are loved

For all that you do

For all that you contribute

For all that you stand for

Because we don’t say to one another often enough

Part of why I am here

Is because of you

And I love you.

TB-S        3/5/12

Much love to the sisterhood of women today.  I salute you! Spread love…peace and blessings