Archive | April 2012

There Is Nothing To Fear But Fear Itself

I don’t know if you believe in: divine intervention, the universe working in your favor, or things happening as they should, but I do.  I believe that God/the universe brings you what you need when you need it. A more religious way of putting this is “he may not come when you want him, but he’s always right on time.”  Again, this is something that I believe in; or is it?

When we believe something don’t we accept it as true and thus not worry about the validity of it?  Case in point, if I do in fact believe that the sky is blue do I spend all day contemplating whether the sky is indeed blue or is it really white with blue contrasts?  A bit of an extreme example but you get where I’m going here.  The sky is blue.  There is no need to spend time in contemplation of that – NEXT!!

So, if I indeed believe that the universe ultimately always works in my favor why do I lose sight of that fact so easily?  Why when confronted with stressful situations do I lose sight of what I believe in and go to the “other side.”  I’ll tell you.  It’s fear.  Fear is a powerful drug.  What else can you call something that allows you to mentally distort reality?

Last week was quite challenging for me.  I had to navigate some uncharted seas as well as swim in bodies of water that I try to avoid.  The long and the short of it is that by Friday night/early Saturday morning I was done for.  The wind was definitely out of my sails.  I was feeling alone and overwhelmed.  At that moment, I believe, God stepped in to prove me wrong.  It was the equivalent of an invisible tap on the shoulder.  One that said “hey hey little girl, why do you think you have to take care of all of this on your own?  I’ve got it and I’ve got you.  Here’s a bit of proof.”

Why am I sharing this with you today?  Well I just finished speaking with a family member who was sharing some of her current events with me.  She has been struggling with the aftermath of a major life event for some years now.  As I listened to her speak, I heard one thing in volumes- there is a lot of fear there.  We all have it in some way, shape, or form.  The degree to which we let it affect us is what some of us need to work on.  I know that there are some things I should legitimately fear.  Heck, we all watch the news.  But, I am vowing here and now that I will give my very best to not allowing fear to affect my beliefs in the things that I know are true.  Fear can cause worry, stress, and ultimately illness.  Often times, the very thing we fear never happens.  And if it does, the results are rarely as bad as we thought they would be.

So I’m getting aboard the train.  The train of not allowing my fears to overpower my beliefs, the train of self-determination and healing, the train of “I can do all things…”  It’s a big car.  First class ride.  There’s plenty of room for other passengers.  Here’s your ticket- already paid for.  Are you coming?

 

Spread love…peace and blessings.

 

R E S P E C T- Ladies Wanted (Act Like A Lady)

Where have all the ladies gone? Not the chicks, the grown girls, the bad b’s-I know all of them abound in droves, but where are the ladies?  In Great Britain a lady is the wife of a knight, baronet, member of the peerage, or one having the courtesy title of lord and used as a courtesy title for the daughter of a duke, marquess, or earl.  Thus a lady is one of superior social position with refinement and gentle manners, as defined by Webster’s.  Here, in the states, I believe the term is most often focused on “with refinement and gentle manners.”  When your mom admonished you to act like a lady she meant as my mom more aptly put it “act like you have some couth.”  And thus we have come to the purpose of today’s blog.

I will admit that I am as guilty of watching “reality” t.v. as anyone else.  I am ashamedly hooked on the Real Housewives franchise but also get in my doses of  the Sports Wives.  And perhaps my pervasive viewing of such has tainted my point of view.  This is what I would like to believe, but sadly I know that is not correct.  I will admit that these shows and others like them are making a bad situation worse.

What is the situation you ask?  Well, apparently it has become unpopular to be a lady -a female who is self-respecting at all times, holds herself and others to standards of behavior, and who does not behave in belittling ways.  NO!  It is far more appealing to “throw down” at the first sign of insult- either perceived or real, to throw drinks in people’s faces (a favorite), and to curse and act a fool in public.

If you disagree with me that the phenomenon is growing , I challenge you to prove that.  It appears that we are feeding our brains is a steady diet of this is how women behave and only those with the strongest of constitutions are able to separate reality from “reality.”  You see, the truth is these people are at least clowning for a reason- a paycheck.  The “ladies” who go into the streets copying such behavior are doing it for free.

Well, I’ll tell you this I watch the shows, but I don’t drink the Kool-Aid.  I am teaching my daughter how to behave as a lady and letting her see for herself how foolish such behavior looks when viewed by others.  We have to reclaim our girls and young ladies.  They are our gems and jewels.  The need to understand what is appropriate attire and behavior.  They need to learn from us (adult men and women) that the  person they should respect most in life is themselves.  They should also know that under no circumstances should they allow others to disrespect them.

 Our culture is failing them.  The “ladies” on these shows get voted off as “boring.”  “Who wants to see them?” Foolery garners high ratings and spin offs.

I’ll tell you this.  For me it is not worth it.  I am the finest quality diamond and so is my daughter.  We will carry ourselves as such and you will respect us as such.  Where are the rest of my ladies?  Please stand up.

You’ve Got A Friend

We all have friends.  Most, if not all of us, have at least one best friend.  Friendship is a wonderful thing.  But something occurred to me today.  Not all of us have THAT friend.  The one who will tell you what you need to hear not what you want to hear.  The one who will pull you in off the ledge all of the time with a simple “calm down.”

I want you to be clear on what I mean here.  This is NOT the friend who is ride or die- ready to pick up the charge and go off to kick a** with you because YOU said someone did something “wrong” to you.  This is NOT the friend who will allow you to mope, cry, and host the pity party to beat all pity parties whenever you feel the occasion warrants.  No, not this friend. Not this friend.

This is the friend who says to you “I understand” and continues on to examine the situation from a purely rational, impartial (meaning you may not like it) point of view.  This is the friend who pulls you off the ledge saying “Come on in.  It’s dangerous out there and trust me this is not worth it.” And then… and then, this friend goes on in a calm, loving way to show you how this is not the end of the world.

But some people are not ready for this type of friendship.  They think if a person does not totally agree with them that individual is being disloyal.  They think that if they are angry, then their friend should get fired up and angry as well.  They don’t appreciate the value of the person who will just talk things through showing them both the good and the bad of all sides.  Hopefully they will eventually.  For this type of friend is one of your greatest assets.

You know the best thing about this friend? When you have to return to the friend to say “I hate to admit it, but you were right” they just kinda smile and let you know that’s it’s ok.  They got your back.  Always.  You’ve got a friend.

Little Things

Sometimes it’s the little things

that bring me the greatest joy

the sound of birds singing

the sight of a bright full moon

a blue sky scattered with clouds

the homemade notecard from my daughter

that says “hearts of love”

cutting up with my son

and us both erupting into a hearty belly laugh

an unexpected compliment from someone

who says “I’m watching & you do a great job”

complimenting a friend who says

“that means a lot because it came from you”

I could go on but you get the jist

it’s the little things that I’ll one day miss

little things make my heart glad

pick me up when I’m sad

let me know the value in living

encourage me to continue giving

stop waiting for the big bangs in life

celebrate the little things

all of your life’s experiences

the beauty of the world around you

your kids for they are quickly gone

celebrate the little things

and smile on

 

TB-S 4/9/12

Spread love…peace and blessings

Didn’t Win the Mega Millions But Still A Lottery Winner

We all had it- Mega Millions FEVER!  Even those who “normally don’t play the lottery” joined into the fray.  Who can scoff?  $640 million dollars on a chance with just a $1 investment.  Why, you’d be a fool not to buy at least one ticket, right? RIGHT!!!

So here I am, lil ole me, claiming that prize all week. I mean I was putting all of the Laws of Attraction to work to claim the money.  All good.  So now it’s time to wait.

I fell asleep watching t.v. on Friday after hearing the winning numbers (but not checking my ticket).  I awakened about 2:45 a.m.  to “get in the bed” and saw a text from a friend in Chicago: “Did you win?  $640 million dollar winner in MD.”  *insert dramatic heartbeat music* But I still didn’t check.  I returned to sleep.  Well, about an hour before I was due to awaken on Saturday I guess my subconscious mind could no longer take the drama.  I awakened to check my ticket.  😦  I am not the winner.  I’ve got extra time to kill now so I mosey onto Facebook.  I’ve got an inbox message “1 winner.  Ticket sold in Baltimore County.”  *turn up volume on dramatic heartbeat music*  I’m thinking… I’m thinking… well I know it’s not me but it could be someone I know.  Look at my timeline and see a message written by a fellow mom from my kids’ old school  “ticket sold at 7-11 on Liberty Rd.”  O_O!!!! Now this thing is getting serious.  This is very close to home.  “Which 7-11?” I wonder as I think to myself “if it’s the one in the strip mall where I elected to get my ticket at the liquor store instead I’m going to be SIIIIIIICK!”  Turn on the t.v.  All of the news crews are at the 7-11 on Liberty Rd at Milford Mill Blvd.  Well, not my immediate neighborhood but definitely my acre of the woods.

It’s Monday now and we have more info.  There were 3 lucky people who will share in this record-breaking pot (lucky dogs).  3 tickets sold in 3 different states. The MD winner has not yet come forth but we do know that at the time of that purchase they bought a single random ticket .  So yes folks, 1 dollar is ALL that it takes.  Alas, I did not win the Mega Millions (this time) but I am still such a winner in the lottery of life.  And so my friends are you.

When I think of all of my blessings, I realize that I have things no money can buy or make better:

1.  I was born into a wonderful family.  Yes, there is a degree of dysfunction, but there is love and caring in abundance.  My family has my back and my best interest at heart.  They are there for me and I them.

2.  I have the best set of friends.   If it is true that you attract what you are, then I’m a WHOLE LOT better than what I think I am.  My friends are supporters, dream sharers, butt kickers, love bearers, tear catchers, and way makers.  We get by with helping each other.

3.  My kids are the best.  They are not perfect but they are perfect for me.  They give me no trouble.  They are intelligent, great thinkers, independent minded and their own people.  I could not ask for more.

4.  I am in great health.  While my body is not EXACTLY where I want it, it does show evidence of my dedication to the gym.  I am getting close to the magic age and I take no medications for anything.  I have had no medical scares of any kind.  I have the strength to physically and mentally take care of those who need me.

That about sums it up.  You can’t get much better than that.  The money would have been a wonderful asset to my life but it would not have made my life.  My life is perfectly complete as it is.  There are some things that could bear improving but I won’t complain.  I’m alive, I’m healthy, I’m blessed.  I’m a WINNER.

 

Spread love…peace and blessings