Archives

A Dream Is Unfulfilled Without Action

 

Goals image

I am a writer. There, I said it. I dream of being not just a published writer, but a famous writer.

When I’m stressed, upset, or just need to “get away from it all” I do one of two things- I read or I write. I write to express my deepest feelings- those I’m too shy, or fearful, or unsure of to express aloud.  I write to give praise. I write to air grievances. I write for entertainment, mine and others.

I began this blog 6 years ago (WAIT! Has it really been THAT long?!) because I wanted to write and I wanted spread love through a blog that shared positive thoughts.  I am not hip enough to be a fashion blogger, and quite frankly dishing on celebrities is not my calling or desire.

Then guess what happened?  You already know right?  Life happened.  I’ve changed location, marital status, and a host of other things during the lifetime of this blog.  You know what else happened? I stopped writing. And my dream became more deferred. I’m rusty now. My written “voice” is not as sharp as it was. I have to resharpen my tools.

Earlier today I had a conversation with my husband. We discussed goals and plans for the future. As a part of the discussion I shared that writing is my true dream and passion. If I could have my druthers writing is what I would do. Then, he did it. That thing.  Yup, he dropped the bomb. What you need to know is that my husband is related to a world renown, highly acclaimed author.  I mean, one whose name is known by EVERYONE. So what did he do? How did he drop the bomb? He quoted her!!! He said “in the words of my cousin ‘writers write.’ ”  Sonic boom. I can ‘t argue with that, especially knowing who he’s quoting.

So here I am. I’m really, really back. Back with regularity. Back to posting. Back to inspiring (hopefully). Back to writing. Because a dream is just a dream until you apply action to it. Action makes the dream a goal. Dream your dreams. Then define the goals and go get ’em. It’s never too late. Not for me and certainly not for you. Let’s go get em.  As for me, I’ll continue to do the write thing.

Spread Love,

Peace and Blessings

 

Advertisements

HOW MANY TIMES???

dont' give up

There is a verse in the 18th chapter of Matthew in  the Bible where Peter asks Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother who has sinned against him.  His question: “Seven times Lord?” and Jesus answers not seven times but seven times seventy.  This piece is not religious but that question got me thinking over the weekend.  I know if you are anything like me you often find yourself asking “how many times?”

I am a mom so I find myself asking “How many times do I have to tell you to do the same thing over and over again?  How many times do I have to tell you not to do that? How many times are you gonna ask me that same question?” and the list goes on and on and on.

But this piece is not about being a mom.  It is about being a “me.”  There are many times when we grow frustrated with life and our circumstances.  It is in these times that it may help to remember “7 x 70.”  Now is the answer really 490 times?  I doubt it.  The true answer is: as many times as it takes.  Funnily (my own word) enough the amount of times is probably FAR less than a random 490.  It takes 21 days for something to become a habit.  That sounds really doable when compared to 490 doesn’t it?

Let’s look at other examples where we can apply this notion to motivate ourselves to move forward:

1.  How many times will I keep trying to master something new?  As many times as it takes!  You can learn a foreign language in far less time than 490 straight days.  So, keep going!

2.  How many times will I pick myself up when I’ve fallen down?  As many times as it takes! Anyone who has succeeded at something has failed at something else.  Often times it is through the failures that the knowledge comes for the great success.  Even the great Michael Jordan absolutely SUCKED at pro baseball.  Does that diminish his greatness as a basketball player?  Absolutely not! It highlights the fact that he is human and as such has limitations.

I believe that one of the purposes of life is to learn the lessons.  You can not learn all lessons by skipping through the poppy field.  Most are learned through hardship and struggle.  So as you sit there knocked down but not out pick yourself up that one more time.  Brushing yourself off gets easier every time.

3.  How many times must I listen to my coworker tell offensive jokes/be a negative Nelly or Ned or watch them get projects/promotions that I feel belong to me? As many times as it takes for you to learn the lesson of why them not you, to discover that this job is not your passion, to learn the skills you need to learn to move forward.  Sometimes we don’t see ourselves the way others see us.  Look in the mirror.  Recognize your shortcomings.  This will help you deal with the offensive person and will most likely give you the rocket power to propel forward.

4.  How many times must I challenge myself?  As many times as it takes! There is great reward in mastering something new or outside of your comfort zones.  The sense of accomplishment is tremendous.  Why is the reward so great?  Because it is NOT easy!  If it were easy everyone would do it!  But you, my friend, are not everyone.  You are very uniquely you and as such you have a unique purpose in life.  Find your passion- that thing that makes you tick, makes you get out of bed even when you don’t want to and then put on your cape and go conquer.  Will it be challenging?  Oh yes! Will it be worth it?  Oh yes!  Will you have it to give it many times before you get it right?  For SURE!  How many times?  Frankly I have no idea.  Count on the fact that you may lose count… and then STOP COUNTING and just do it.

If you are worried about how many times you missing part of the lesson.  You are probably taking some of the joy out of the journey, and you for sure will make the process longer (or at least feel longer) in your mind.  We generally think of how many times in a negative context, but I propose that if we master the art of just plowing through to our destiny then these may instead be your questions:

1.  How many times am I going to grant myself a vacation this year?

2.  How many times will I get to show my loved ones I love them?

3. How many times will I watch attend my kids’ sports event?

4.  How many times will I be the one there to kiss the boo boo instead of hearing about it afterward?

5.  How many times will I be there to comfort a friend/loved one in need?

Your quality of life will change my friends once you are willing to do the things you don’t want to do for as many times as it takes.

Spread love! Peace and Blessings…

It’s TIME… To Handle Your Business

I know that it has been a long minute since you’ve seen a blog but that does not mean that this blog, or you the readers have been far from my thoughts.  Sometimes circumstances force you to take a break, but I will never be gone too long.

As many of you know, most of my blogs involve me having a conversation with myself.  Today is no exception.  This blog has been composing itself for about 2 weeks and the message is painfully obvious (side note: I began this blog on 5/10/13; sadly it is still relevant enough today for me to continue from this point.)

You may be aware that I believe that God/the Universe speaks to us in many ways.  Sometimes a thing becomes so obvious that it is pretty hard to ignore the message or frankly to pretend that you can’t discern what it is.

So here is the message I’ve been receiving: It’s time … to handle your business! It began as a whisper quite a few months ago, by July it was quite audible and now it is shouting from the rooftops.  I mean really, it’s that loud.

How can God/the Universe be shouting at you?  Well for hard heads like me that is often times what is required.  I can see people around me doing something, making it look relatively easy (or at least worth the effort) and if not completely ready I respond with “Yeah… but not yet.” So then, the picture becomes even more clear.  You are surrounded by people who are who are doing the thing you should be doing, excelling at it, and seemingly grasping it at a much faster rate than you.  “Yeah… but not yet.”

So for the seriously hard-headed God becomes really serious.  He knocks away whatever crutch, support system, excuse you could draw upon and says “What about now?”  So finally, hard-headed ole me is forced to admit “It’s time… to handle my business!”

What are the things you procrastinate about until given no choice?  Do you learn the lesson and take less time in the future to get the message?  Do you realize that your hesitation is purely a result of your fear and pres s onward knowing that fear itself has never killed anyone?  Trust me, these and more are questions I wrestle with.  But in the end I recognize that sometimes I am my own worse enemy, block my own blessings, get in my own way, and am the stumbling block to my own success.  I’m sure there are other clichés you can add, but it doesn’t change the facts or the circumstances.  Change is rarely easy, but that doesn’t mean it’s not necessary.  Most importantly there is a tremendous growth opportunity in changing as required.  Sometimes you just have to do it. We miss 100 % of the shots we don’t take.

This post is very personal, but it is not for me alone.  Someone reading needs to hear these words.  Someone needs to understand that most people give up right before their breakthrough.  You are not most people.  You are a winner, so It’s TIME… to handle your business!

Pop Quiz

So you know my theory right? Once you learn the lesson it stops repeating.  Recently I have had cause to rethink this just a little bit. You may not continue to get retested but sometimes the universe gives you a pop quiz.

The purpose of the quiz is not to make you fail.  It is designed for lesson reinforcement.  In other words, yes you get it.  You’ve learned the lesson.  You understand.  BUT, are you able to apply the lesson across the board in a variety of circumstances?

Here’s the good news.  Once you are able to step back, remember that you do know the lesson,  and understand that this is just a pop quiz you relax.   There is no need to go into fight mode.  It’s just a quiz and you have already studied.  You know the answers.

This is today’s lesson.  I’ve been struggling with something for about a week now- asking myself why this is happening, wondering what I’m doing to encourage it. Today I passed the quiz.  I recognize that this is indeed a lesson. I’ve learned it before and I just need to implement the answers. I am a quiet stresser.  When I’m bothered most, people are often not aware of it.  I appear as cool as a cucumber on the outside but I’m torn up internally.  This is not good or healthy.  So, today I’ m breathing and relaxing- it’s just a quiz.  There is no new lesson to learn.  Just spit the answers back out.  It’s just a pop quiz.  Trust… you’ve got this.

The Point of It All

In life there are always times of stability and times of change.  Sometimes the change is welcomed and initiated by us.  Sometimes it beyond our control, but as the song says “a change is gonna come.”  My life is in a period of deep change and growth at the moment.  Most of it, thankfully, is desired.  I am learning, however, through this change that I am not as “together” as I fancied myself to be.  There are lots of lessons that I am learning and that… perhaps … probably is the point of it all.

(This is one of those blogs that is really written entirely for me, but I have learned that when I write these so many others relate as well.  We truly are all more alike than we are different.)  As I navigate through this process of change here are some of the lessons I am learning.  The good thing is that the journey is not over and thus this list is incomplete.  The bad thing is… the list is incomplete. 😉

1.  Don’t sabotage your own happiness

Bad/trying/hard times don’t last always.  Eventually they go away. The tide turns and things begin to look up.  The grass is greener and the roses are in bloom.  Why are you then checking the Farmer’s Almanac to see when the next drought is set to hit?!  The beauty of the happy times come from actually appreciating them.  If we become so stuck in the rut of what is wrong we deprive ourselves from living in the happiness of the moment of this is good and all is right.

2.  Don’t second guess everything

You are perfectly capable of making good decisions.  Sometimes you will err on the side of caution.  Sometimes you are not cautious enough.  All that being said, things generally work out as they should.  Don’t sweat it.  Life goes on, this too shall pass, it’s all small stuff (and five thousand other clichés that are true).

3.  Appreciate those who are in it for the long haul

Most people are around for the good times- when the money is flowing, the kids are behaving perfectly, you are extending invitations to all of the events.  Yup, they are there and in the amen corner singing your praises and loving some you.  BUT, when the chips are down, when circumstances are not fully to their understanding and you exercise your God-given right not to explain yourself, or when others have turned against you they lose your number and forget where you live.  This will be some people. Others wouldn’t dare leave you.  They support, celebrate and love you even when you don’t love yourself.  Those cheerleaders are not doing it for fame or recognition, but they must realize how much you appreciate them.  This must be done in their language of which there are a few.  If you don’t acknowledge them in their way, they may not ever realize how grateful you are.  This may take some effort to decipher but it isn’t it worth the time for someone who has always had time for you?

4.  Life is not consistent.  Everything must change. 

That being said, those who are in your corner may change.  Those whom you value may change.  Those who loved you yesterday may be very underwhelmed today.  It’s all good. It’s life.  Let it change.  Grow with it. You may not be comfortable with change but it will happen and is often for the best.

5.  Patience really is a virtue and your lack of it may cause undesired results. 

Another way to express this is: you don’t control everything.  Many people are uncomfortable with feeling out of control.  Learn to accept the fun in not having to know it all and do it all.  Let someone cater to you.  Wait for the love instead of trying to force it with the wrong person.  Everything that is yours is coming to you if you are open to receiving it.  That does not mean the picture will look as you envisioned it on your vision board.  But it does mean that you will get what you are supposed to have.

6.  Love trumps all.

Envy, deceit, turmoil and deception have nothing on love.  We are full of the spirit of love.  If we let it surface and don’t worry about the possible resulting repercussions we live settled, more peaceful lives.

7 .  Sometimes you can revisit the past. 

This is a proceed with caution lesson.  You can go back to unfinished business but you have to monitor your expectations.  There are no guarantees in life, but sometimes there is reward to be found.  Remember though that those who loved you in the past may not love you now and those who didn’t like you may now love you.  This seems to be surprisingly relevant to old schoolmates.  Time mellows us all, and most of us are more similar than different.  Sometimes, it just takes us a while to realize that.

8. Don’t allow your fear of prosperity to keep you from success. 

(this is kissing cousin to #1 issue of sabotage)  Sometimes we live the way we do because we are afraid to live another way.  We are comfortable with what we know.  We don’t want to go out on the ledge to do something new, or different or *gasp* scary.  Our comfort zone is perfectly fine with us thank you very much.  So, unconsciously we keep ourselves stagnant and mediocre.  Soaring, excelling, being all that we can be and being proud look like they would bring their own challenges of jealousy, envy, and unwanted attention so we stay with what we know. We bemoan our circumstances not realizing that we are subconsciously doing everything that we can to stay put.  Living a full and prosperous life (not just financially) may appear daunting but is highly rewarding (or so I’ve heard and read by those who live it).  The trials of living well can’t be as draining as the the task of living in want and having a sub par existence.  Don’t be afraid to soar because others (may) talk about you.  Eagles are meant to SOAR alone.

9.  Put the voice in your head on mute.

I am  a strong advocate of following my own intuition, but I also realize that there is absolutely NO ONE who drives me more crazy than me! Sometimes we just need to tell the voice in our head to shut up while we enjoy the beauty of the moment.  If it screams a long, loud warning I suggest you listen, but there is no need to over think EVERYTHING.  Sometimes you need to just BE and live in the moment.  Most of the time the voice is listening to or focused on the most inane sideline matters anyway and not the main point.

These are my lessons. They are  meant especially to address shortcomings within me.  I’m a
work in progress but I am doing the work. Sometimes it is painful.  Sometimes I feel alone.  Most times I know that is a feeling and is not reality.  The bottom line is I have  a lot more living left to do.  I’ve got miles to go before I sleep and I might as well enjoy the scenery and the ride as I move down the track.  Derailments rarely happen.  Life is good and a gift to be appreciated.  Enjoy and appreciate the joy in every moment.

Peace and Blessings

Birthday Musings

Well it’s that time- albeit a little delayed this year. Every year I take time to review my life.  This generally takes place on New Year’s Day and my birthday(7/1).  Well, we are officially 15 days past my birthday.  Life’s circumstances delayed me putting pen to paper or fingers to keys, as it were, this year but I definitely put in the time for reflection.  So, at the ripe young age of 47 here’s what I’ve learned so far.  Some lessons came a while ago while some are very recent.  Regardless of the timing, they are things I now hold as true.

1.  I can’t change anyone but myself.  While this is definitely true, what is even more true is that though I will not ask anyone to change who they are for me I am firm in what is not acceptable behavior for/toward me.  You don’t have to change, but I don’t have to tolerate it either!

2. Most people are good at heart.  The more you accept that, the more people will show you how good they really are.  (another way of stating that most people live up to your expectations)

3.  Age is definitely a state of mind.  I’m 47 but still 25 in my mind.  I think constantly relating to my inner child helps me look younger.

4.  You have to take care of your mind, body, and soul.  You can amass money and for some that is the ultimate goal.  But those funds will not keep you out of the doctor’s office, off of medication and off of the operating table.

5.  You can’t choose your family, but often times when the rubber meets the road you will find that they are truly there for you.

6.  You really do have to power to change your life simply based on what you think.  The Law of Attraction is real.  If you don’t believe me, try some of the principles yourself and prove me wrong.  I’ll wait; you won’t.  😉

7.  Some things have changed from the old days but I don’t HAVE to change with them if the change is not for the best.  This deserves its own blog as it cannot be summarized in a sentence or two.

8.  You can’t make me hate you, cause I won’t! Hate is not in my vocabulary especially in reference to another person.  We all have God within us.  If I recognize the God in you it is impossible for me to hate you.  The God in me can’t hate itself. I choose to see you for your best, even when you display your worst.

9.  When you spread love it comes back to you magnified.  Most of you know this is a principal that I live by.  Spread love.

10.  Tell people you love them; often!

11.  Don’t force people to jump through hoops to prove their love for you. It’s unnecessary, tiring, and leads to resentment.

12.  Be willing to see your own faults and learn from your mistakes. No one is perfect and that includes you.  It’s ok.  Cut yourself some slack.  No one expects you to be perfect.

13.  Life goes on.  Unless you die, you get the opportunity to live another day.  That is a gift.  Try as much as possible to live in the present and see the present for the gift that it is.

14.  Your time and attention are two of the greatest gifts you can give a person.  Give someone your undivided attention sometimes and see what a difference it makes in your communication.

15.  Be willing to see the other person’s point of view.  That doesn’t mean you have to agree with it, but by seeing it you will find an understanding.

16.  Be willing to admit when you are wrong.

17.  Don’t give up.

18.  Laugh often – especially at yourself.

19.  See your children as the individuals that they are and appreciate your time with them.  It will be gone before you know it.

20.  When you are surrounded by friends who love, support, and encourage you, you can survive anything. Again, I could write an entire blog around this.

21. You are stronger than you think you.  Most of us don’t know what we are capable of until we are presented with a situation. It’s when things are at their worst that we sometimes see what we are really made of.

22.  Be willing to laugh (even at yourself) loud and often.  There are a lot of serious things that occur in life, but there is a lot of funny stuff as well.  Laughter is healing.  Never take yourself so seriously that you can’t enjoy a good laugh.

In The Meantime

Sometimes the hardest thing to do

is to hold on

be still

and wait

recognizing

that what’s out there for you

is coming

you have to do some work

you have to prepare

and then you have to wait

because it is coming

But in the meantime

find joy

in where you are

appreciate what you have

give as much as you can

to help others around you

and wait

because what’s ultimately best for you

is coming

you just have to make the best of things

in the meantime.