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I’m A Survivor (not physically health related)

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People are complex beings who live through complex circumstances in life. Some make it through those circumstances and some survive them. I am a survivor.

In a family crisis I am the one who holds everyone together. Several years ago I had someone who did everything within their power to try and break me. I didn’t break. The more I didn’t falter the angrier they became. I also didn’t retaliate. Strength does not mean he who hits the hardest but he who works hardest to walk away least bruised and battered. I’m also a strong believer in karma, so I can’t block my blessings because I’m trying to get back at you.

There’s only one thing wrong with being the strong one, the lone survivor if you will. That thing is perception. People tend to think/believe that you can handle anything. Even worse, you believe it as well. So though it may be true that will indeed generally rise to the top, you have a hard time accepting/enduring/being positive as you live through it. I have to remind myself to live THROUGH it. It’s okay to be vulnerable, to show anger, tears, an even disappointment. It’s okay to let others know you are struggling (I usually don’t.) I’m realizing I sometimes must convert the smile on my face (through it all) to a smile in my heart. I mean after all I’m going to survive it, right? Of course, I’m a survivor!!

Birthday Musings

Well it’s that time- albeit a little delayed this year. Every year I take time to review my life.  This generally takes place on New Year’s Day and my birthday(7/1).  Well, we are officially 15 days past my birthday.  Life’s circumstances delayed me putting pen to paper or fingers to keys, as it were, this year but I definitely put in the time for reflection.  So, at the ripe young age of 47 here’s what I’ve learned so far.  Some lessons came a while ago while some are very recent.  Regardless of the timing, they are things I now hold as true.

1.  I can’t change anyone but myself.  While this is definitely true, what is even more true is that though I will not ask anyone to change who they are for me I am firm in what is not acceptable behavior for/toward me.  You don’t have to change, but I don’t have to tolerate it either!

2. Most people are good at heart.  The more you accept that, the more people will show you how good they really are.  (another way of stating that most people live up to your expectations)

3.  Age is definitely a state of mind.  I’m 47 but still 25 in my mind.  I think constantly relating to my inner child helps me look younger.

4.  You have to take care of your mind, body, and soul.  You can amass money and for some that is the ultimate goal.  But those funds will not keep you out of the doctor’s office, off of medication and off of the operating table.

5.  You can’t choose your family, but often times when the rubber meets the road you will find that they are truly there for you.

6.  You really do have to power to change your life simply based on what you think.  The Law of Attraction is real.  If you don’t believe me, try some of the principles yourself and prove me wrong.  I’ll wait; you won’t.  😉

7.  Some things have changed from the old days but I don’t HAVE to change with them if the change is not for the best.  This deserves its own blog as it cannot be summarized in a sentence or two.

8.  You can’t make me hate you, cause I won’t! Hate is not in my vocabulary especially in reference to another person.  We all have God within us.  If I recognize the God in you it is impossible for me to hate you.  The God in me can’t hate itself. I choose to see you for your best, even when you display your worst.

9.  When you spread love it comes back to you magnified.  Most of you know this is a principal that I live by.  Spread love.

10.  Tell people you love them; often!

11.  Don’t force people to jump through hoops to prove their love for you. It’s unnecessary, tiring, and leads to resentment.

12.  Be willing to see your own faults and learn from your mistakes. No one is perfect and that includes you.  It’s ok.  Cut yourself some slack.  No one expects you to be perfect.

13.  Life goes on.  Unless you die, you get the opportunity to live another day.  That is a gift.  Try as much as possible to live in the present and see the present for the gift that it is.

14.  Your time and attention are two of the greatest gifts you can give a person.  Give someone your undivided attention sometimes and see what a difference it makes in your communication.

15.  Be willing to see the other person’s point of view.  That doesn’t mean you have to agree with it, but by seeing it you will find an understanding.

16.  Be willing to admit when you are wrong.

17.  Don’t give up.

18.  Laugh often – especially at yourself.

19.  See your children as the individuals that they are and appreciate your time with them.  It will be gone before you know it.

20.  When you are surrounded by friends who love, support, and encourage you, you can survive anything. Again, I could write an entire blog around this.

21. You are stronger than you think you.  Most of us don’t know what we are capable of until we are presented with a situation. It’s when things are at their worst that we sometimes see what we are really made of.

22.  Be willing to laugh (even at yourself) loud and often.  There are a lot of serious things that occur in life, but there is a lot of funny stuff as well.  Laughter is healing.  Never take yourself so seriously that you can’t enjoy a good laugh.

STRENGTH

A family lost their son today

he died in an unusual way

they will need prayers

they will need God

they will need family and friends

they will need STRENGTH

A mom is staring divorce in the face

she is economically dependent

her spouse has tried to break her in many ways

on many days

even attempted to do so through her kids

but he can’t and he won’t

because she is STRONGER than he allows himself to recognize

and she will bend but not break

A young man faces a choice today

does he sling dope on the corner

to someone’s son or daughter

or does he face the fact

that he can approach life another way

can he accept that he is smart enough

and STRONG enough to not continue to be led astray

his entrepreneurial talents can build a family empire

but not this way

A young lady will today decide

after her endless tears subside

that she can not continue to allow

the foulness of her mom’s boyfriend to invade her

and she will find the STRENGTH she needs to garner

to leave them both and go to the refuge where real love is offered

You see strength is not in your swagger

not in your walk and especially not your talk

if you have to proclaim the magnitude of your strength

then your meter is probably off

for the strongest people don’t speak about it

they just are about it

they continue on in the face of adversity

often with a smile and a word of encouragement for others

the phrase quiet strength holds much weight

some come by it early for some it comes late

The strength I wish for you today

is that you will have the fortitude to live life your own way

set goals and pursue your dreams

recognize that life is not always what it seems

but no matter what the obstacles you face

you have the power to win this race

you have the strength of your convictions

the love of others and self

don’t leave your strength on the shelf

everyone has it somewhere within

find it own it use it

you have the strength to win