In life there are always times of stability and times of change. Sometimes the change is welcomed and initiated by us. Sometimes it beyond our control, but as the song says “a change is gonna come.” My life is in a period of deep change and growth at the moment. Most of it, thankfully, is desired. I am learning, however, through this change that I am not as “together” as I fancied myself to be. There are lots of lessons that I am learning and that… perhaps … probably is the point of it all.
(This is one of those blogs that is really written entirely for me, but I have learned that when I write these so many others relate as well. We truly are all more alike than we are different.) As I navigate through this process of change here are some of the lessons I am learning. The good thing is that the journey is not over and thus this list is incomplete. The bad thing is… the list is incomplete. 😉
1. Don’t sabotage your own happiness
Bad/trying/hard times don’t last always. Eventually they go away. The tide turns and things begin to look up. The grass is greener and the roses are in bloom. Why are you then checking the Farmer’s Almanac to see when the next drought is set to hit?! The beauty of the happy times come from actually appreciating them. If we become so stuck in the rut of what is wrong we deprive ourselves from living in the happiness of the moment of this is good and all is right.
2. Don’t second guess everything
You are perfectly capable of making good decisions. Sometimes you will err on the side of caution. Sometimes you are not cautious enough. All that being said, things generally work out as they should. Don’t sweat it. Life goes on, this too shall pass, it’s all small stuff (and five thousand other clichés that are true).
3. Appreciate those who are in it for the long haul
Most people are around for the good times- when the money is flowing, the kids are behaving perfectly, you are extending invitations to all of the events. Yup, they are there and in the amen corner singing your praises and loving some you. BUT, when the chips are down, when circumstances are not fully to their understanding and you exercise your God-given right not to explain yourself, or when others have turned against you they lose your number and forget where you live. This will be some people. Others wouldn’t dare leave you. They support, celebrate and love you even when you don’t love yourself. Those cheerleaders are not doing it for fame or recognition, but they must realize how much you appreciate them. This must be done in their language of which there are a few. If you don’t acknowledge them in their way, they may not ever realize how grateful you are. This may take some effort to decipher but it isn’t it worth the time for someone who has always had time for you?
4. Life is not consistent. Everything must change.
That being said, those who are in your corner may change. Those whom you value may change. Those who loved you yesterday may be very underwhelmed today. It’s all good. It’s life. Let it change. Grow with it. You may not be comfortable with change but it will happen and is often for the best.
5. Patience really is a virtue and your lack of it may cause undesired results.
Another way to express this is: you don’t control everything. Many people are uncomfortable with feeling out of control. Learn to accept the fun in not having to know it all and do it all. Let someone cater to you. Wait for the love instead of trying to force it with the wrong person. Everything that is yours is coming to you if you are open to receiving it. That does not mean the picture will look as you envisioned it on your vision board. But it does mean that you will get what you are supposed to have.
6. Love trumps all.
Envy, deceit, turmoil and deception have nothing on love. We are full of the spirit of love. If we let it surface and don’t worry about the possible resulting repercussions we live settled, more peaceful lives.
7 . Sometimes you can revisit the past.
This is a proceed with caution lesson. You can go back to unfinished business but you have to monitor your expectations. There are no guarantees in life, but sometimes there is reward to be found. Remember though that those who loved you in the past may not love you now and those who didn’t like you may now love you. This seems to be surprisingly relevant to old schoolmates. Time mellows us all, and most of us are more similar than different. Sometimes, it just takes us a while to realize that.
8. Don’t allow your fear of prosperity to keep you from success.
(this is kissing cousin to #1 issue of sabotage) Sometimes we live the way we do because we are afraid to live another way. We are comfortable with what we know. We don’t want to go out on the ledge to do something new, or different or *gasp* scary. Our comfort zone is perfectly fine with us thank you very much. So, unconsciously we keep ourselves stagnant and mediocre. Soaring, excelling, being all that we can be and being proud look like they would bring their own challenges of jealousy, envy, and unwanted attention so we stay with what we know. We bemoan our circumstances not realizing that we are subconsciously doing everything that we can to stay put. Living a full and prosperous life (not just financially) may appear daunting but is highly rewarding (or so I’ve heard and read by those who live it). The trials of living well can’t be as draining as the the task of living in want and having a sub par existence. Don’t be afraid to soar because others (may) talk about you. Eagles are meant to SOAR alone.
9. Put the voice in your head on mute.
I am a strong advocate of following my own intuition, but I also realize that there is absolutely NO ONE who drives me more crazy than me! Sometimes we just need to tell the voice in our head to shut up while we enjoy the beauty of the moment. If it screams a long, loud warning I suggest you listen, but there is no need to over think EVERYTHING. Sometimes you need to just BE and live in the moment. Most of the time the voice is listening to or focused on the most inane sideline matters anyway and not the main point.
These are my lessons. They are meant especially to address shortcomings within me. I’m a
work in progress but I am doing the work. Sometimes it is painful. Sometimes I feel alone. Most times I know that is a feeling and is not reality. The bottom line is I have a lot more living left to do. I’ve got miles to go before I sleep and I might as well enjoy the scenery and the ride as I move down the track. Derailments rarely happen. Life is good and a gift to be appreciated. Enjoy and appreciate the joy in every moment.
Peace and Blessings